My best friend has a Johnny Depp fetish, and last time we got together for an evening of chatter and movie-watching, she pulled out a Johnny Depp fave, "Crybaby".
I went home thinking about an old flame I hadn't thought about in years, and found myself frustrated for DAYS with thoughts of moments in time that were burned into my head about him.
He's one of those "past guys" who was more a playmate than anything - we spent way more time exchanging glances, talking in double entendres and sneaking touches during group events than we ever spent alone, but that's the way it was meant to be. A boldly flirtatious game of chemistry, language and self-control that left me wanting to scream more than once, and never, ever ever ever left me physically satisfied.
As I thought about him again, I shook my head, wondering why I had somehow believed I could shut his memory out forever and not use his example as part of what I build into my next great relationship.
I really HAD tucked him away to a back corner of my mind that didn't get visited.
Until I saw Johnny Depp in Crybaby, and while every character in the Crybaby movie was a hilariously overplayed rendition of a stereotype, Depp's dark hair, dark eyes and bad boy bold language reminded me clearly of that man in my past.
I've spent the past five days thinking a lot about what that man taught me about myself and about my sexual engine and appetite.
In all that thought, I took action to find another playfully bold guy like him, I'm starting a search to find a new workout facility and social group that fits my needs. Fitness needs, social needs, and maybe one day through it I'll meet a guy like him who is actually available for a relationship and not just flirting games...
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